I scrambled to get to the gym today. Couldn’t fine my gym clothes, I don’t use them enough to know where they are. Took my son to scouts and back to look again. Found them but only had 30 minutes to exercise. I was determined to do the elliptical. I tried it last week with no success. I got on it and pushed the start button and….nothing. Looked around foolishly and just went to the treadmill. But today I was going to figure it out. I did 20 minutes on. Was dying the last 5 minutes. I put on the Kelly Clarkson song Stronger.
You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone.
Think you left me broken down
Think that i’d come running back
Baby you don’t know me, cause you’re dead wrong.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean i’m over cause you’re gone
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me myself and i
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean i’m lonely when i’m alone
It is amazing how motivating a good song could be. Feel really good right now. I may not in the morning.
House is mess, need to do dishes but I am just going to bed. Sleep always sounds good
My life has been relatively easy. I think it was because I just didn’t let most things bother me. Or maybe through the years I have conveniently forgotten painful incidents. Every now and then they pop in my head. But I am pretty good at pushing back. Pushing back is what this blog is about. I need to rediscover myself and become the person I want to be. At 48 it is time for a new dream. My husband of 25 years has decided he wants a divorce. It isn’t just 25 years. It is 25 military years. 15 years of moving around and 5 of the last 10 years of him being deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Wow, it is amazing how fast those years went. For some reason his playback of those years are so different from mine. He just fast forwards to the bad stuff and I like to slow down the good times to enjoy them. Oh well, that is why this is MY NEW DREAM. Not his. So what will I put on this. I have not idea. My daily thoughts, things I would like to do,or my accomplishments. What I hope this will not be is a blog about HIM. Because unlike everything else I have, this is mine, only mine. My thoughts, my words, my feelings, MY NEW DREAM.